Here, just a few minutes into my 63^rd birthday, I only have one wish.

I wish to live wholeheartedly.

I wish to live wholeheartedly, with authenticity, presence, and intention.

Living and loving wholeheartedly requires attention to the details of life, including … ESPECIALLY including … the “ordinary” ones. It requires an intentional cultivation of ordinary experiences.  It requires a heightened awareness of ordinary things in such a way that soul is nurtured and fostered through experiencing and embracing them.

Ordinary?   What do I mean by that?

Maybe it’s a commitment to seeking real moments of connection with the world around you, and especially with those around you … including both loved-ones and strangers.  The nature of the connection is different depending on the situation, of course.  Regardless, such connection is possible.  But ONLY possible when rooted in authenticity.   Living wholeheartedly means to be rooted in authenticity and bolstered by passion.

Maybe such connection to the “ordinary” comes on your morning routine of alone time with a book, or in meditation, or exercise.   Or, maybe it’s just taking delight in a quiet walk or the shape of clouds on a lazy afternoon, or the sound of rippling water in that stream you love, or the smell of fresh growth in the garden, or the way the first (or last) shafts of sunlight look breaking through the trees.  Maybe it is planning (and shopping for) and preparing a meal. Maybe it’s your (literal) cup of tea or coffee, and moments of Zen-like flow in the preparation of either.

Living wholeheartedly is certainly about being intentional in listening to those around you, hearing their words …. Even the unspoken ones.  Looking them in the eye, making genuine connection, listening to their hearts, and letting them know that, yes … I am here.  I am here for you.  In this moment … this moment between you and me …  I am HERE for you.   Here I am.    And I value “us”.   I love us.

I believe that you can make that kind of connection, at least at some level, with anyone.  With anyone you know, or with anyone with whom you interact.  A store clerk, or wait-staff at a restaurant, etc.  With all those people you encounter in the “ordinary” moments of your life.   It is certainly possible and desirable to make that kind of connection with the people you interact with most regularly and more deeply.

It is interesting (and sadly ironic) that when we reach out for “help” because we are experiencing difficulties in embracing the richness of life … whatever those difficulties may be … that the “help” we are offered often ends up focusing only on crises or specific problems or dysfunctional patterns.  Of course it does. Because the one hurting has this glaring “need” that is so (seemingly) obvious in the present moment.

But maybe the truest “help” would be gentle encouragement for a return to a fuller experience of and appreciation for the “ordinary” things in our life.  Maybe the surest way to “help” ourselves is to earnestly search and to find the one (or ones) who help you see the truths revealed in the joy of ordinary moments.  That journey to wholehearted, passionate living may just be the most important adventure we can ever be on.   It may be the greatest gift given or received…. To ourselves or others.

Thomas Moore, in “Care of the Soul” says that “The word passion means basically “to be affected,” and passion is the [therefore] the essential energy of the soul. The poet Rilke describes this passive power in the imagery of the flower’s structure, when he calls it a “muscle of infinite reception.” We don’t often think of the capacity to be affected as a strength and as the work of a powerful muscle, and yet for the soul, as for the flower, this is its toughest work and its main role in our lives.”

Yes. Passion.

If passion means “to be affected”, I am glad for, and rejoice in my capacity to be passionate … deeply affected by … the things around me.  No regrets.  I choose with intention to view this as a strength.  And yet, such passion brings with it vulnerability.

Learning to embrace and understand our own vulnerability without fearing it or denying it is the work of a lifetime.   Sometimes it is the most difficult thing in the world. Living wholeheartedly means opening ourselves up to the pain that such passion can sometimes bring. Because sometimes things go off the rails.  Sometimes we are the cause, sometimes it is out of our control.  Sometimes we end up in a rabbit-hole … either of our own device, or by following one we love down one of their own.   Of course, sometimes we reel out of control.  We reel out of control precisely because we have chosen passionate, wholehearted living.  We reel precisely because we crave connection, and we crave the passionate experience of love, loving-kindness, and connection to our world and those we care about most.   We reel because we have chosen to be those people who are capable of being affected deeply.

I have allowed myself to be hurt … even hurt deeply …. by things out of my control.   But each time, I have come out on the other side.  Perhaps I was scarred and battered, but I emerged.   Sometimes diminished.  But sometimes stronger and better and more resilient.

Living wholeheartedly can be devastating.  But it also can be incredibly rewarding.

I choose passion.  I choose to be affected by things, even knowing that sometimes it will hurt.   Sometimes it will hurt seemingly more than I can bear.  I know that sometimes I will fail miserably.  I may even fail more often than I succeed.  But I choose with intention to experience the magic of “us” when we connect.  Because connection is all there is.   And because the rewards so clearly far outweigh the risks and the costs.

I choose wholehearted living.

Bring it.  I am here for you.  Here I am.  And I love Us.

love,
john