I woke up this morning with a heavy heart, thinking about the current news of hatred, intolerance, and violence in the world.  The events that turned violent and deadly in Charlottesville last Saturday.  The news reports just yesterday from Barcelona of terrorists plowing through crowds, killing over a dozen innocent people. These are only the latest two heartbreaking examples. The list goes on and on and on, and continues to grow at an alarming pace.   It is overwhelming.  Literally, overwhelming.

We live in a broken world.

I had one thought on my mind as I showered and went about my morning routine:

What are you doing to spread peace and love in the world?
What are YOU doing to spread peace and love in YOUR world?

As I began my morning commute, that thought was still with me.   I wondered to myself… “Seriously, what AM I doing to make the world a kinder and more loving place?  Me, John.  What am I doing?”

Not enough, for sure.  But not nothing either.   I certainly don’t mean to suggest I’m some saint, and I do not want this piece to sound like I’m wanting to toot my own horn.  I’m really not.   But I have very consciously tried to do a few things.  These things don’t necessarily make a huge difference.  But I think… I hope… they do make at a least a small difference.

I’ve tried to keep a “mantra” of sorts in my mind.  “Do the Loving Thing”.   Sometimes I think I do an okay job of it.  Sometimes I fail miserably.  Truthfully, I probably don’t do a good enough job of it with those I love most. I am sure that I don’t.  And that’s something I can work on.    If I am going to be true to my own belief system … if I want to act intentionally upon my faith, I can and must be “working on it” every day.

I’ve written about this idea of “Do the Loving Thing” here before.   In each situation, with every decision, make a conscious choice to “Do the Loving Thing”.  And we each face literally hundreds or even thousands of decisions every single day.

Some decisions are tiny and relatively inconsequential (Do I smile at this store clerk who is not of my native culture? How much do I tip this waitress, who may be struggling just to put food on the table and to make ends meet?   Should I offer a kind and understanding word to this mom struggling through the grocery store parking lot with an unruly toddler?).    Others are huge and with enormous potential impact. (Should we encourage mom and dad that it really is past time for them to move to an assisted-living facility?  What is the next step in the transition of my son with a disability from his school years to adult life?)

When faced with the onslaught of daily decisions, we don’t always know the difference in what is a big thing, and what is small.  And we don’t always recognize the opportunities that come our way to make a difference.  And we don’t always overcome the inertia to seize upon those opportunities when we DO recognize them.

Sometimes “The Loving Thing” is immediately obvious and easy.  Sometimes it’s not clear at all and terribly, terribly difficult.   Just because it may be obvious, doesn’t mean it’s easy.  And just because it may not be clear doesn’t mean it’s difficult.

Still, “Do the Loving Thing”.

So, there I was this morning driving along on Franklin road, heading into Nashville, I wondered if I should I use that thought  (What are YOU doing to spread peace and love in YOUR world?) as my latest clever Facebook status message?   Then I felt a little chagrinned ….even ashamed … to have even “gone there” in my mind.

I mean, I really did NOT want to turn this thought … this question … into something about me.   “By golly, look there… another clever Facebook Post from John!   I love his stuff so much!”

I really don’t want to be that guy.   The question that was burning in my heart this morning is about how to get EACH of us asking ourselves what are WE doing?

What are YOU doing to spread peace and love in the world,  and what MORE can you do?

Yes, we live in a broken world.  We really do.

But WE don’t have to be broken.  WE are better than that, and we CAN be a small source of light and love to the world.

Do the Loving Thing.

I had listened last night to Malcolm Gladwell’s latest podcast, from earlier this week, in his “Revisionist History” series.   The specific topic doesn’t matter, but he ended it with these words:

“What is a child’s obligation to his parent? I took my father’s presence for granted while he was alive.  After he died, the first shocking realization was that I had to find a way to keep him alive in my heart … to honor his memory.  How do we do that?  Not by honoring our parent’s beliefs.  They are different people than we are, born in different eras, shaped by different forces. What we are obliged to honor in our parents is their principles.  The rules by which they lived their lives.”  – Malcolm Gladwell, The Basement Tapes    

I remember so clearly the example I was raised with.  The numerous examples of acts of kindness shown to others by my parents.   As I have written here before, I can remember so many times when mom & dad would stop and visit to brighten the day of elderly folks they knew.  I remember so many times when they would take a small basket of tomatoes or other vegetables from their garden to folks who were in some kind of need.  Just the fact that planted a garden with a yield far, far bigger than anything we ourselves could eat.  I remember  so many times when dad would go to a neighbor’s house and repair a furnace, or fix a plumbing problem.  (And if I had invested a dollar back then for ever radio, TV, or appliance he had repaired for folks, I’d be looking at early retirement now.)  There were so many times when they would give an elderly neighbor a ride to a doctor’s appointment, or offer to take them to the market.  I remember the times when mom would go to the hospital and sit and laugh and visit with Marge from across the street as she struggled through chemo treatments for her cancer.  One of the most touching things I ever read was after mom passed away, finding the note that Marge had penned, thanking mom for the love and friendship she had lavished upon her during her illness.

Do the Loving Thing.

So there I was this morning, driving along on my morning commute with these thoughts in my head. As I approached Brentwood, not having had anything for breakfast, I thought…. Bagel.    I want a bagel.

I pulled the car into the crowded strip-mall parking lot and pulled up near Bruegger’s Bagels.   I went in and got a fresh Pumpernickel bagel, toasted, with garden veggie cream cheese, sprouts and red onions, and a large black coffee.

Walking back out to my car, I looked down and saw that the SUV next to me had a front tire on the passenger side that was terribly, terribly worn.  I mean, the woven steel from the steel belts was exposed and frayed.  I looked at the back tire, and it was in relatively great shape, with plenty of tread.  I walked around and found the exact same situation on the driver’s side.  Front tire dangerously worn, and rear tire in good shape.

I looked into the car, and saw a few things there inside that led me to think the car belonged to a young woman.   I wondered if she realized the bad shape her tires were in, and how dangerous it is?  There was no way to know specifically who the car belonged to.  Maybe an employee of Bruegger’s or a customer?  Maybe some other business?   I looked again at the tires.

Do the Loving Thing.

This isn’t rocket surgery, John.   I asked myself, do you believe those words?

Do the Loving Thing.

If this car belonged to MY daughter, seen by some random stranger, how would I want that stranger to act?

Do the Loving Thing

I looked in my money clip.  I had exactly two twenties.  I found a piece of paper in my car and penned a note.

“You are dangerously in need of two new front tires!    Please get them replaced!   This won’t pay for them, but maybe it will help get you  part of the way there.    Be kind and do the loving thing.   (Pay it forward when you can.)” 

I tucked the note and the two twenty dollar bills in an envelope and wrote in big letters on the front:  “I hope this brightens your day.”   I placed the envelope under her driver’s side wiper, with the text on the front of the envelope down so it could be read from inside the vehicle.

In the face of events like Charlottesville, the decision to be kind, live peacefully in the world, and to “Do the Loving Thing”as often as we can may not seem like much.

On the other hand, maybe it’s everything.

I pulled away and drove on towards the office.  It’s Friday.  This new day is another gift that I was not promised, and it’s a good, good day.

And the pumpernickel bagel was so very delicious.

Love,
John