I was talking with a friend the other day who has been “in the trenches” doing the work in the disability community with families and individuals for a long time. This person lamented that in some ways it seems like we’re fighting the same battles over and over, and wondered,  “Do we ever really make a difference?”   I understand that.  I absolutely do.  I am certain everyone who fights for social change, in ANY arena feels that way from time to time.  Here is what I told them:

How to Make a Difference  101.

Don’t stop loving.

I’m not asking that you to set out to change the world. That’s a fool’s errand.

I’m not even asking you to go out and actively TRY to change lives individually.  We can’t even do that. Not really.

What we CAN do is this. We can love ourselves.  And from that foundation, we can work on trying to love others unconditionally. With practice, we might even get pretty good at it. Like most everything else we do, learning to truly love others is a learned skill.

Why do you have to start with love? Because love …. not just professed but tangibly given through service and encouragement and shared community … is the only currency we have that is truly worth spending in a world too often bankrupt of it. We can be confident living our lives in the sure knowledge that when we give our love to others, ESPECIALLY in those moments when they are most vulnerable, that we can help empower them to change their own lives.

You’ll know you’re finally getting it right when you realize, almost startlingly, that you’re loving those people who might be considered (by those more cynical and less giving than you) as the more “unlovable” amongst us. When that happens, it is a beautiful and wonderful thing, full of mystery and joy.

And if we can learn to do that … if YOU do that … I can promise you this: YOUR life will be changed forever for the better as well.

So, live your life as if your fundamental  reason for being is to love others. Because here is an amazing secret, and it’s really the main thing you need to know:

It is.

And when you do that, your life will be rich beyond measure.

A rich life is one filled with shared laughter, love, & joy. And yes it also has occasional tears and heartache.  It absolutely must also have a healthy dose of irreverence and a willingness to sometimes thumb your nose in the face of convention, to help maintain balance and perspective.   Allow yourself to be guided by your heart in each present moment, trusting it to lead you into your own instinctive surety of when to embrace and nurture, when to let go, when to encourage, when to challenge, when to support, and when to simply be silent.

Above all, let your life be an unstoppable conduit of love to the world. Let that be your very reason for being.

Making a difference? You do.

You’ve made one in my life.

love,
John